Save Me, Please
by Needs Adjustment
Summary: Hiccup has done something very stupid, and now Astrid is out to kill him...
1. The Legend of the Regurgitated Fish

"Gahhh! Help!" Hiccup ran down the cobblestone path leading to Gobber's forge, ignoring the creaking of his prosthetic leg. He burst inside and hid under a rack of dented shields, knocking over a sword and two axes.

"What the Hel are you doing?" asked Gobber. "Those were for Spitelout! He's going to kill me."

"Just – shut up! I'm not here," Hiccup whispered frantically, just as the door burst open and a very angry Astrid stormed in. "Where is Hiccup?" she snapped.

Gobber mock-frowned. "I'm not sure, y'know – maybe he's gone to… um…" Astrid suddenly had her battle-axe in hand. "Tell me where he is or I swear I will kill you!" she hissed angrily.

Gobber started backwards, stumbling over a misplaced hammer attachment. "He's over there, behind the shields!" he squeaked, avoiding Astrid's wrathful eyes.

"My life is officially ruined…" groaned Hiccup as Astrid pulled him out, twisting his arms behind his back and dragging him towards the door.

"Gobber!" complained Hiccup, shooting the Viking a glare that was supposed to make him tremble in fear. Gobber just smirked, and gave Hiccup a wink as he was forced out of the building.

"You are so dead!" growled Astrid, once they were outside the smithery.

Hiccup laughed nervously. "You see, it… it was an was an accident, and Toothless didn't … I really didn't know about the regurgitated fish…"

Astrid smirked evilly, tying his hands behind his back as they walked. "Save it, Mr. Regurgitated Fish, I'm not listening…" she said.

Hiccup decided that it would be best if Toothless would come and save him from his misery, so he whistled loudly, calling the black Night Fury. Toothless obliged, bounding over… and then stopped, his face settling into a gummy smirk.

"What are you _doing_?" moaned Hiccup. "Astrid's going to kill me!" Toothless grinned at him a moment later, and then strode away nonchalantly.

"Save me, please…" whimpered Hiccup as Astrid clocked him over the head with the flat of her axe.

Toothless and Gobber watched the pair stumble into the forest, grinning at Hiccup's expense as the lanky teen was dragged away into the shrubbery. "Odin help him now," chuckled Gobber. "I think she actually likes him…"

Toothless likewise snorted and rumbled, rolling over. The courting of humans was obviously very complex, and he didn't want to interfere with what was obviously very delicate.

* * *

Hiccup groaned, nearly passing out from the blood rushing to his head. He was suspended upside down from a thick tree branch, gagged and completely immobile.

Astrid grinned, spinning him around. "Having fun?" she asked jovially. Hiccup rolled his eyes, silently praying for Astrid to let him down.

"Cahnnn su lets meh downe nhaw?" pleaded Hiccup, his words muffled by the gag. Astrid grinned, and her axe whiskered through the thick cloth, millimetres from his face. "What was that?" she asked brightly.

Hiccup sighed, and spit leaves out of his mouth. "I said, can you let me down now?" Astrid grinned, and Hiccup realized with a sickening feeling what she was about to do.

"No! No…" Swish! Astrid's axe cut through the rope suspending Hiccup above the ground, and he crashed down to the ground a metre below.

* * *

"Ouch." "Yeah, that must have really hurt." Hiccup sighed. Opposite him were Snotlout and Tuffnut, and he was at the Great Hall, still trying to avoid Astrid after running away from her in the forest.

"You know Astrid, she can't handle regurgitated fish." He stared at his bowl of stew, looking at the reflections in the slushy soup. And then gulped as an angry face appeared in it.

"Who can't handle regurgitated fish?" growled Astrid, dunking Hiccup's face into his stew. Hiccup groaned. "Help me, please guys?" But Snotlout and Tuffnut had already fled the scene.

Astrid punched Hiccup in the arm. "That was for the insult," she growled. Hiccup grinned. "And?" he asked, grinning in anticipation of what was about to happen.

Astrid leaned closer… and then stepped back and kicked him in the groin. "_That_ was for everything else," she smirked, watching as Hiccup curled up into a fetal position.

"Why would you _do_ that?" he gasped, rolling around on the floor. Astrid ignored him. "Goodnight, Hiccup. Sleep well."

She turned away from him and strode toward the doors, trying not to laugh as the not-a-Viking realized that he was completely unable to move, tied up by the 'automatic bolas' that he had made for her birthday.

* * *

Hiccup woke to find Toothless licking his face with amusement, and not the least bit of concern for his wellbeing. "Oh Toothless, she is _so_ going to pay."


	2. Of Plots and Plans

Gobber chuckled, banging cheerfully on a demented sword. "I _don't_ think that's a good idea, Hiccup. What if she catches 'ya?"

Hiccup smirked. "Trust me, Gobber. I've got a plan." Gobber rolled his eyes. "Right, Hiccup. Plans. I hope this one's not like the one where you nearly burned down the village, or the one where you…" Hiccup sighed. "Yeah, Gobber. I get it. This plan'll work though, trust me."

Gobber rolled his eyes, again. "When haven't you said that about any one of your – **other **plans?" he stated matter-of-factly. Hiccup shrugged, and resumed banging on a long, slightly misshapen tube.

What Hiccup was making was in fact an incredible feat, as he was the first one to _create_ a spring-loaded weapon. To be more precise, the bulky device that he had laid out on a workbench shot out a net that would not utilize weights, but instead a curious substance called hematite that would attract and then stick to other chunks of itself and metal very powerfully. Hiccup had found some of the ore in Toothless' Cove one day as he went exploring, and found out the hard way that it stuck to metal: Hiccup's leg, for instance.

What he was making now, was a hematite net that when fired at close range, would stick to Astrid's armor and itself, forming a cage that he was sure was plenty heavy enough for Astrid not to be able to be able to escape. Hiccup grinned as he finished banging the tube into its position, and pushed the net into it, making sure it didn't crumple in on itself.

Gobber frowned. "Ya' know Hiccup, at the end of the day she's gonna kill you," he surmised. Hiccup adopted the same expression. "Thank you, Gobber for summing that up…" And then, "but I'm going to do it anyway."

Hiccup lugged his _thing_ out the door of the forge, greeted Toothless and went off to find Astrid.

* * *

Astrid was in the Dragon Training arena, having an argument with Snotlout. "Trolls do **not exist!**" she hissed. Snotlout gave his approximation of a charming grin. "But Astrid, they do. One stole my left sock!"

Astrid rolled her eyes and pinned Snotlout to the wall of the arena with her axe. "**They** **Do Not Exist!**" she hollered, narrowing her eyes for extra dramatic effect.

Snotlout wilted. "Ok. Fine. Trolls do not exist," he muttered. The Twins, who had sneaked up on the pair, couldn't help themselves from laughing at Snotlout's predicament.

"Hahaha, are you _sure _trolls don't exist, Snotlout? Hahaha," spluttered Ruffnut. "Are you _really sure_?" Snotlout glared at them wordlessly. They just laughed harder.

Something heavy hit Astrid, wrapping around her and sending her to the ground. "What – the Hel was…" She looked up to see Hiccup smirking ruthlessly at her, accompanied by Toothless. "Hey, Astrid. Might you be… a little _stuck_?"

Snotlout unpeeled himself from the wall. "I never thought I'd say this, but Hiccup, thank you," he mumbled. Astrid squirmed, trying to release herself from the metal net.

"Hiccup, **I will KILL you**!" she shouted. "Get me **out of this**!" She reached for her axe, but it was still embedded in the wall, just out of her reach.

Stormfly tried to grab Astrid, but got distracted by the sunlight shining off Hiccup's tube-launcher –thing and then immobilized by a scratch to the chin from Ruffnut.

Tuffnut laughed. "No can do, Astrid. This is too good for words." Astrid glared at him wordlessly,

Fishlegs burst into the arena. "Hiccup! Meatlug just swallowed a – what in Hel happened to Astrid?" They all burst out laughing, incomprehensible answers streaming from their mouths.

After half an hour, Fishlegs had managed to determine from the others that Hiccup had shot Astrid with a sticky-metal net that Hiccup called Hahahematitehaha. He had tried to experiment with the metal, but when he tried, Astrid headbutted him, nearly breaking his nose.

* * *

Astrid glowered as she lay in the dark. She was **so **going to kill Hiccup, and trolls **were not **real. Or were they?


	3. Swing the hammer (or the axe)

**A/N:  
I know I've been quite the unfriendly author, so I'm going to add an author's note to every chapter from now on. I've decided that I'm going to write at least 20,000 words, which in fact I have never done before. Ever.**

**P.S. The faster you review, the faster I update!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HTTYD, Cressida Cowell owns the books and Dreamworks owns the franchise.**

* * *

Astrid was gathering supplies. Lots of them. In a cave in the forest, she had stored enough weapons, food and survival items to potentially kill, eat and bury a Night Fury. Not that she was going to do that. Not at all.

Her plan was to wait until Hiccup, one way or another, landed in Toothless' Cove, as it was now called. Then, she would absolutely _kill_ him She frowned, checking catapults around the cove were primed and loaded, and that her vine traps were secure. Hiccup would have no idea what was coming to him.

* * *

Hiccup yawned and rubbed his eyes, rolling out of bed, and sprinting around to the back of the house, where Toothless was drawing a zig-zag of lines and polygons on the ground with a small tree. Toothless had recently discovered a passion for drawing random shapes, lines and curves and Hiccup was always amazed by the pieces of 'artwork' that he created.

"Wanna come for a fly?" he asked Toothless. Toothless rumbled and shook his head, sending clods of earth from the tree roots flying towards Hiccup.

"Ow! Okay, okay," he grumbled. "I'll be down at the cove if you need me." He walked off, towards the forest. He wanted to make a small shelter there for camping and training. He failed to notice a figure flitting mysteriously between trees, always just ahead of him.

* * *

Hiccup ducked down into the cove, holding miscellaneous building supplies and trying desperately not to topple over under the sheer weight of the whole kit.

"Planks, check. Wood, check. Nails, check. Hammer, check," he said, dreading the weary return to the village to get more supplies. Until he felt a sharp blade at the back of his neck.

"Hiccup, check," smirked Astrid. Hiccup whipped around. "I've got a hammer!" he yelped. "I'll – Eeek!"

"Drop the hammer, Hiccup. We don't want anyone getting hurt," she said, slowly twirling her axe in what seemed to be a dangerous fashion. Hiccup decided somehow that the best option available to him was to stay and fight, and swung his hammer at her, the momentum nearly pulling him off his feet. Astrid grinned, and slashed through the handle of his hammer with her axe. The head dropped onto Hiccup's foot, and he fell over, clutching his foot and rolling around in silent pain.

Astrid stepped over him, kicking him in the shins to get him to stop moving, and dropping the butt of her axe onto his stomach in much the same fashion as previously 6 months ago. Hiccup slumped, obviously winded. "Well, _that's_ new," he gasped, trying to get up and failing, as a particularly unstable catapult fired, a rock whizzing over his head and splashing into the small lake nearby.

Astrid grinned, extending her hand towards him. Hiccup accepted it warily and stood up, looking completely _dead_. "What are you doing?" he gulped. Astrid grinned, lightly drawing her axe across his throat. "Dead," she whispered menacingly. And then Hiccup blacked out.

* * *

Hiccup picked himself up off the ground, muddy and scraped but otherwise unharmed. "Hey, Toothless," he croaked to the dragon. Toothless snorted in amusement, licking him all over. Hiccup glared at him. "Who do **you** think did it?" he grumbled indignantly. Toothless rolled his eyes, and then they flew.

* * *

**Eeek! Astrid's mad. Anyway, since I can't write about their petty bickering for 18,500 more words, I've decided that there will in fact be an actual danger. (Not that Astrid isn't.) What is it? Review to find out! (...and make me happy :P)**


	4. She's still angry

**A/N: Hello again! So, in this chapter the villain is introduced (sorry, not trolls) and Mildew makes an appearance!  
In other subjects, I'm starting a writing course quite soon, and I'm going to be very busy, so I'm not sure how I'll make time to write the next chapters. Anyways, on with the story.**

**P.S. I think you know I don't own HTTYD by now.**

Hiccup landed next to Snotlout, slowly sinking down into the arena on Toothless. He grinned when he saw Hiccup's multiple cuts and bruises. "How bad was it?" he asked, feeling almost_ sorry _for his cousin.

Hiccup glared at him. "What are **you **looking at?" Snotlout frowned, never one to take the hint. "I'm looking at you, Hiccup," he said, oblivious to Hiccup's eye-rolls.

Ruffnut and Tuffnut fell into the arena with their dragon in a tangle of limbs and wings probably having another of their infamous arguments. However, they quickly stopped when they saw Hiccup. "What – happened to you?"

Hiccup gave a tired grin. "Astrid happened to me." He dismounted from Toothless, his prosthetic clinking as it made contact with the stone floor.

"Ah. No wonder she likes you. She can beat you up," said Tuffnut, holding his sister in a headlock. "Which is why Ruffnut hates, me, of course."

Hiccup rolled his eyes. "I'm not the only one she can beat up, you know. She's gonna come after you guys too." The twins paled, but Snotlout completely took it the wrong way.

"I knew it!" he said, skipping around in a very un-Snotlout-like way. "She _loves_ me!"

Toothless grumbled. In all his life, he would _never _understand the humans. He turned his attention to Snotlout, who was now doing victory laps around the arena, while Hiccup and the twins watched with utter contempt.

"Do you think Fishlegs is going to get it, too?" Tuffnut lay on the ground, his sister sitting on him.

Hiccup shrugged. "I have _no_ idea." Toothless growled in affirmation, and Snotlout stopped long enough to say "The poor schmuck," before continuing his happy romp. Hiccup sighed. "So, today we'll be learning about how to cal - "

Astrid walked in casually, Stormfly flying in behind the group and surrounding them both. Snotlout fell out of the air. "She's scary when she loves me…"

"Class dismissed!" Hiccup jumped on Toothless and made a dash for the open top of the arena, but Stormfly let out a precise burst of fire, setting Toothless's prosthetic tailfin aflame and forcing the pair to land.

"So, you guys wanna play, huh?" Astrid gave a wicked grin.

Astrid had just finished with Tuffnut and was moving onto Hiccup (she felt no guilt in beating him up, because he was already dead as of yesterday) when Stoick walked in. Hiccup! What are - " He stopped. "What are you _doing_, Astrid?"

Astrid turned around guiltily. "Hi, Stoick."

Hiccup sighed in relief. "She's trying to kill us, Dad!"

Stoick grinned. "Alright, that's perfectly fine. I'll just leave now. I understand perfectly." The group gazed at him with dread, their chances of hope rapidly dwindling away.

"But – Dad, she's trying to – how – why - " stuttered Hiccup. Stoick was already out the door, whistling a merry tune.

Astrid grinned, cracking her knuckles. "At least _someone_ has some common sense." She stepped forward, and Hiccup gulped.

* * *

The Mead Hall was a place for relaxation and fun, but the group didn't feel very relaxed, probably because Astrid was sitting at the same table as them. She smirked. "So, how was your day?"

Hiccup visibly paled. "Just absolutely fine, Astrid. Absolutely fine," he said, daring to take a sip of mead from his mug in the hope that it might calm him down. He inched away from where she was sitting, almost bumping into Ruffnut, who under normal circumstances would have decked him, but in this case she understood the situation perfectly fine.

"Yeah, Astrid. Completely uneventful and normal and – ow!" Tuffnut stopped as Ruffnut kicked him viciously under the table. "Doesn't matter."

Hiccup seemed to have gotten away lightly with Astrid, probably because of the event at Toothless' Cove. On the other hand, Snotlout was a total mess, sporting two black eyes, a bloody nose and a split lip. "Pleash don't kill me anyshmore," he mumbled.

Just then, Mildew trundled in, glaring at the weary dragon trainers and shuffling over to where Stoick and Gobber were consulting a new design for the armoury that had gotten burned down – by Mildew himself, it was rumoured. Gobber looked up and sighed. "Here comes Mildew, lest we might perish in his awful presence," he muttered, pulling the blueprints behind his back in a very conspicuous way.

"What do you want, Mildew?" rumbled Stoick. "We are trying to work here."

Mildew leaned closer, the flames of the hearth suddenly taking on an eerie, hostile look. "I saw two longboats coming into the island, and they're armed to the teeth. Bolas, axes, swords, even some of those Roman ballistae." Stoick and Gobber both took a step back, looking at Mildew with expressions of disbelief. "You're lying," accused Stoick. "Who would dare to attack - " He stopped, realization dawning on his face. "Alvin the _Treacherous_."

**A/N: So, that was all dramatic and exciting and stuff, wasn't it? Also, Alvin from the books and the TV show reveals himself as the villain, and to give you a teaser, an unexpected character will make an appearance. By the way, he/she is not OC, and does appear in the franchise continuum. So, read and review to make me happy, and I'll try my best to find time to write the next chapter: '****_To hack and slash and burn and do all sorts of other horrible things_****'.**


	5. To hack and slash and burn and do all

**A/N: So, Chapter 5 is up! If you want to have a say on who the unexpected character will be, check out the poll on my profile page. I've managed to keep up my streak of one-a-day chapters, but don't expect me to keep it up too long :( . In this chapter, Hiccup and the gang get a first taste of real war, and Hiccup learns that not everything has changed after his encounter with Toothless. Thanks for the reviews, and read on.**

Hiccup, being Hiccup had naturally overheard every word in the whispered, brief conversation and alerted the other members of the group, the incident with Astrid being all but forgotten. Hiccup was sending Snotlout out to do a stealthy reconnaissance mission – "Quietly," hissed Hiccup. "No tricks, no flips, no 'Ring of Fire' acts like you tried to do at Thawfest." Hiccup, now ignoring the angry glares from Astrid continued. "If they are in fact from Outcast Island, we'll try to take out the longboats before they come into Berk."

Fishlegs frowned. "How are we supposed to do that?" he questioned, scepticism creeping into his voice. "It's not like they're _two armoured longboats_, completely _armed to the teeth with ballistae_!"

Hiccup grinned. "We hit 'em from behind, go for a strafing run. Then, we spread out; surround them. They won't have enough ballistae to fire accurately at all of us, and we'll be able to sink them before they hit the shore."

FIshlegs shook his head slowly – and then got bowled over by a frantic Snotlout.

Picking himself off the floor, Snotlout sighed. It was obvious that he hadn't managed to stay out of sight from the longboats, his hair being singed and scorch marks all over his face.

"Did you, for Odin's sake, be stealthy?" groaned Hiccup. "Or did you 'run' into a few ballista bolts?"

Snotlout shrugged ruefully. "Whatever. So, there are five longboats, not two. And yes, they are Outcasts. I saw Savage."

The group sprang into action, suddenly dropping mugs and grabbing weapons and equipment, and sprinting for the dragons.

* * *

"What's the plan, Alvin?" asked Savage, wary of the large broadsword that Alvin had strapped to his back.

Alvin glared at him. "You know the plan. Capture the Dragon Conqueror and - " He was cut off by a banshee wail and a blue bolt that slammed into the rear of one of the longboats beside his. "Night Fury," he shouted. "Get down!" All around him, boats were bursting into flame. One was being torched by a big brute of a Monstrous Nightmare, while another had been ripped apart by an angry Gronckle. Alvin frowned. If the longboats could reach the shore, they'd have a fighting chance. Three of the five longboats were clearly sinking, and another had caught fire, hungry flames threatening to set aflame the whole vessel.

Hiccup peeled away from the group, racing towards the shore. "What are you doing?" cried Astrid. "There's only two boats left!" She chased after Hiccup frantically, but the Night Fury put on an extra burst of speed and left her skimming along the waves. She'd learned quickly that the Nadders were not suitable for dive-bombing, their fire having not enough splash effect to make any real damage to the boats. However, their fire could be useful in taking out individual men with precision, and she raced toward the sandy beach, hoping that she'd have enough time to pick off the Outcasts that made it to the shore. She dodged a rogue ballista projectile, the pointed bolt whistling past her ear and landed softly on the sand.

* * *

Hiccup was being hard-pressed to defend the beach against the Outcasts. It had turned out that most of them could swim proficiently, and it was just bad luck that the ballistae had been carried only on the longboat that had shored. He would have destroyed the ballistae, but to make matters worse, Toothless was for the first time in his life out of fire. "Come _on_, bud, we need you," he pleaded with the Night Fury, willing Toothless' fire sacs to generate more acetylene. An Outcast ran in front of him, screaming bloody murder at Hookfang and Snotlout, and Astrid was… Astrid was – there! Silhouetted against the sunset, the deadly pair landed, and Stormfly started a steady stream of fire that started to melt through the mechanism on the first ballista. Toothless sneezed violently and spat out a small drip of liquid fire that melted through the boots of a Viking, singing his skin and making him fall over.

"Luck out!" screamed Astrid. "Lock – out!"

Hiccup shrugged helplessly. _What?_ And then Alvin the Treacherous slammed into him, knocking him off Toothless.

"You're coming with me," he growled, picking him up off the ground by his collar. "You are going to - "

Gobber slammed into him, wrenching Hiccup from his grasp with in iron hook, before punching Alvin in the face, making the burly Viking stagger backwards. "No-one hurts **my** apprentice!" shouted Gobber. He turned to Hiccup. "What are you _doing_ out here, Hiccup?"

Hiccup glared at him. "I can handle myself, Gobber." He shrugged. "Well, me and Toothless."

Gobber rolled his eyes. "Get inside, Hiccup."

**A/N: Hahaha! I am so mean, ending the chapter like that. So, Gobber is still patronizing Hiccup, right when the Outcasts are threatening to overrun Berk. Some things will never change. Anyway, I'd appreciate reviews, mainly because they keep me motivated enough to keep writing, and they keep me from getting writer's block. So, toodleloos, and I'll (probably) see you tomorrow. And you'll read this, maybe.**


	6. Ways of escape

**A/N: Come on, guys! Honestly, no reviews? NO REVIEWS? I live on reviews! To be annoying, I'm not going to update until I get four more. So, with that impending sense of doom, read on... slowly.**

Astrid watched helpessly as Hiccup was bodily hauled off towards the village, most probably to be put in one of the interrogation cells. Toothless was undecided, looking back and forth between Gobber and Hiccup, wondering whether to intervene. Astrid would have stopped them, but technically, she wasn't allowed to be fighting either. Alvin tried to grab Hiccup, but Toothless let out a weak burst of fire that knocked his over and set his clothes on fire. As Alvin ran back toward the sea, she noticed that despite the group's efforts, more and more Outcasts were stumbling out of the water. Astrid recognized many from her escapade into Outcast Island, but there were many more that she had not realized were on the ships. She spotted three more longboats pushing on towards Berk, and slowly realized: Berk was about to be invaded.

* * *

"Let go of me, you filthy bottlenosed bickering ballista projectile!" Hiccup squirmed and thrashed in Gobber's arms, biting futilely at his sleeve and recoiling at the taste. "I said, _let go_ of me!" Gobber, stoically ignoring him, walked towards the prison house – the same one where Heather was kept just a few weeks ago. Dumping Hiccup unceremoniously onto the cell floor, Gobber swung the cell door shut.

Hiccup glared at him. "For once, I have an actual fighting chance – I have the rarest, possibly the most powerful dragon in the whole world, and you won't let me get out there?"

Gobber shook his head sadly. "I'd let you… probably, but your father is completely opposed to it."

Hiccup rolled his eyes. "And I'll be here at the end," he said, looking at Gobber in the eye. "Maybe."

* * *

Outside, the war on Berk was not going well. Hookfang had been taken down by a well-placed crossbow bolt and Fishlegs had been thrown off Meatlug in the resulting wash of flames coming from the red-seeing Monstrous Nightmare. Stoick and Gobber were fighting back to back against an ever-increasing swarm of Outcasts, and the dragons that hadn't been killed were flying overhead, torching all the "evil Vikings" they could see in sight, causing mass disruption in the ranks of Outcasts who pushed past their comrades to dive back into the ocean to relieve themselves. Astrid was concentrating on taking down the ballistae, pivoting around them and steadily melting through the metal that held them together with her Nadder. However, more and more Outcasts were pushing through the hastily formed formations of the Berkians and pillaging the houses and huts in the village.

* * *

Hiccup slammed his palm against the door, wincing as a shard of unsanded wood drew blood. Gobber wasn't known for his perfectionism in craftsmanship. He growled at the door – and then a concussive blast of sound rammed him back, sliding him all the way to the back of the cell. His ears ringing, Hiccup stood up groggily, and then watched in surprise as the door bent backwards, flying off its hinges, and revealing Stoick the Vast, who stood behind it, his Thunderdrum blinking innocently as if it had no idea why Hiccup looked about ready to faint. "Dad?" asked Hiccup. "Why… why are you here?"

Stoick frowned at him. "I thought that you'd be safer on that dragon of yours then here, sitting and waiting for someone to capture you." His Thunderdrum growled, and a flash of black shot down, folding in large membranous wings and skidding in through the tiny doors. Hiccup grinned.

"Hello bud, what took you so long?" he asked, scratching Toothless' chin, making sure to avoid the pressure point. Stoick harrumphed, abruptly breaking up the pointless reunion (they had been only separated for fifteen minutes.)

"Don't get yourself hurt, Hiccup. It's you they're after," said Stoick, mounting Thornado. And then he took off, the rider and dragon issuing an unnecessarily loud war cry that almost made Hiccup's ears bleed.

Hiccup shook his head, subconsciously adjusting straps and pedals before jumping onto Toothless.

Astrid hovered around the last ballista, willing Stormfly to make her fire hotter, the device to collapse faster. And then a blue streak flashed past her, smashing into the Roman catapult and blasting it to splinters. She mock-glared at Hiccup as he zoomed past her, doing flips and tricks just to annoy her. She smiled to herself, patting Stormfly reassuringly. Maybe they'd win this thing after all.

**A/N: So, you guys have probably learned that I can't write battle scenes for nuts. Luckily, this is the last chapter before the gang get back to normal life (bickering, punching, flying etc.) We will see more of Alvin the Treacherous, but I couldn't bring myself to write about Hiccup getting captured or anything of the sort. Anyways, Merry Christmas, and don't forget to review!**


	7. Update

Okay guys, for all of you that have been following this story, I am sooooo sorry. I may have gotten a small taste of writer's block, but the seeds of inspiration have crept back into my mind and I am currently working on the next (extra-long) chapter as we speak. Hooray! So, thanks for not flaming or virtually punching me in the face, and I'll post a chapter later today!

Needs Adjustment

(A Huragok (Covenant/Forerunner Engineer), operating inside the world of Onyx/Trevelyan to keep the shield world functioning. A 'relative' to the Engineer Requires Adjustment, who communicated to Lucy-B091 and helped cure her of Post-traumatic vocal disarticulation.)


	8. Through the smoke

**A/N: So here's my new chapter! I realize that you will have been very annoyed at me, and I'm sorry, but honestly, you guys have been ****_absolutely spoiled_****. Like, I'd been posting every day until now. ;P So, enough with my self-redeeming rant and on with the chapter that I actually decided ****_not_**** to make super long. Enjoy!**

The group watched, strangely still as the tattered, patched-up longboats beat a hasty retreat. The teens had gotten their first taste of war, and they hadn't liked it one bit. Hiccup groaned, standing up and breaking the uneasy silence that had formed. Every one of them looked a mess, but he was the worst out of all of them, sporting a deep cut on his face and another on his arm. His prosthetic was nicked and scratched, and sand and sea salt were plastered to his trousers. The dragons were relatively unscathed, being for the most part unaffected by the fire and nimble enough to dodge arrows and bolts while in the air, and being able to defend themselves with relative ease.

"At least they're gone now," said Tuffnut, watching the distant ships sail away. "Do you think we should, like, launch a ballista at them?"

Astrid rolled her eyes, giving him a less-vicious-then-normal kick in the shins. "No, Tuffnut. We can't kill them."

* * *

What had happened was that Alvin had managed to catch Toothless from behind, nabbing Hiccup from his usual spot in the saddle. He had run off, trying to find a boat to take him back to Outcast Island, when Stoick intercepted him, starting a violent tug-of-war over poor Hiccup, who was being literally stretched in half. Toothless had fired a well-placed bolt at the ground near Alvin, the force of the explosion knocking him off his feet… and dislocating Hiccup's arm. As he rolled around on the ground, biting his lip and trying not to scream in pain, Toothless had grabbed him and sprinted away; the type of quick running that only evolved in dragons that couldn't fly. Alvin, finding himself in a very precarious position, his fleet decimated and his prize now completely out of his grasp, snatched a small girl who had been loath to run across the war zone looking for a Terrible Terror and held a knife to her throat.

"Drop your weapons, or else I'll _slit_ her throat!" The hastily assembled ring of Berkians backed away slightly, but otherwise held their ground. "I said, **drop your weapons!**"

There was a resounding clatter and a ground-shaking shudder, as razor-sharp weapons fell to the ground and giant spiked maces and clubs (courtesy of Gobber) slammed into the sandy ground.

For a while, no-one moved, the tense standoff seeming to stretch out forever. Alvin backed slowly out of the ring, trying to get to the shore, but a beefy hand pushed him back.

"Just where do you think you're going?" growled Stoick, glaring at him.

Alvin grinned slowly. "I am going to get in a boat, and sail away. This girl here," he said, shaking her roughly and ignoring her tiny shrieks of protest, "is coming back to you _when_ I leave."

Stoick picked up a crossbow, unwilling to let his sworn enemy leave his clutches. "If that girl is not back alive, I will shoot you with this so many times that you'll turn into a porcupine in the afterlife!"

As Alvin retreated down the ramp, the surviving Outcasts joined him, carefully padding across the sand to their boats and watching the victors warily all the while. As Alvin hopped into one of the boats, he threw the girl out into the shallow salt water, prompting a speedy recovery by her parents, while Berk watched angrily as the Outcasts sailed away, ready to fight another day. **A/N: Haha, that rhymed!**

* * *

As the group turned to leave, Stoick came up to them, grinning strangely (it seemed completely at odds with the current situation, although Hiccup reasoned that his battleworn gather had grown used to that sort of thing.)

"Hello, y'all!" he said, patting Hiccup on the back so hard that he would have fallen over had Toothless not caught him. "Thawfest is next week!" The group took a step back, and Astrid smacked herself, having forgotten to train with all the craziness of the past few days.

"I was wondering if there were going to be any intellectual challenges?" asked Fishlegs, hoping for a yes but only getting an eye-roll from both Stoick and Hiccup for his troubles. "Oh, all right, then. I'll just ask Gobber."

Hiccup frowned contemplatively. "Are there going to be any dragon challenges?" he asked, completely unknowledgable about that sort of thing. It was the others' turn to roll their eyes at him, and he groaned. "Is that a no, or a yes?"

Stoick laughed. "Of _course_ there are, son! There's going to be just as many dragon events as there are… _other_ events!"

Hiccup sighed. "Oh, _those_ events. Right."

Thawfest was an annual contest that involved various displays of 'Vikingness'. Before Hiccup's experience with Toothless, the Thawfest games had never included dragons as anything but gladiators, but Stoick had modified the challenges so that some of the challenges would utilize the dragons in a more 'friendly' way. In Thawfest, the main rivalry was between Snotlout and Hiccup (Hiccup honestly couldn't care less, but his father happened to, very much) and the Jorgenson clan had _never_ lost a Thawfest game. Ever.

Snotlout appeared, dozens of tarnished medals hanging around his neck. "Guess what these are?"

Hiccup rolled his eyes and looked to the sky. "Here we go again…"

**A/N: Anyone recognise this? It's Thawfest and Snotlout is being annoying again. I realise for those of you that have already seen the episode on Riders of Berk that you must think that this will be veeerry boooorring. But, no. Do you notice how Astrid comes nowhere close to beating Snotlout in the episode? That would be because of Fishlegs and a very unfair script-writer that decided to do that. I'm being completely rambly again. Sorry. Read and review... please?**


	9. Fun and games (sort of)

**A/N: So, this is going to be my new routine. I'll post a chapter every week or so... maybe not after Christmas so much, Halo 4 gets addictive. I'd like to give a shout-out to Tzarina8472, who has given me my first ****_proper_**** critique ever. If you haven't read her review, go read it now. So, here's my next chapter and... Wait, do you hear something? Meh, never mind.**

Hiccup whooped as Toothless pulled up into a steep climb, narrowly missing the spire of rock before completing the flip and jack-knifing towards the water. Alongside, Stormfly hummed with concentration, trying to keep Astrid balanced above her as she performed a complicated series of acrobatics along the whole length of the dragon. Toothless shot a blue bolt of victory out into the air, lighting it up with fireworks… and singing Hiccup's hair.

"Toothless!" he scolded the dragon, dodging a playful slap from one of Toothless' ear flaps. Astrid grinned, watching the friendly mid-air tussle between the two, and then grabbing onto Stormfly to steady herself as the twins rose up from underneath her, balancing precariously on each other's heads as their Hideous Zippleback flapped heavily through the air. The group were practicing with their dragons for the Thawfest event in a couple of days, and were steadily improving, sans Ruffnut and Tuffnut, who could barely balance properly on their temperamental dragon. Snotlout practiced alone for the Dragon Events, saying that he was going to 'blow them away'.

As Astrid finished her complex routine, Toothless 'accidently' brushed past her, Hiccup's prosthetic foot snagging her spiked skirt and pulling her off a bewildered Stormfly.

"What are you _doing_?" screamed Astrid, believing that Hiccup had done the manoeuvre on purpose. "Put me _down_!"

Hiccup grimaced apologetically, looking down at Astrid, who started to climb onto Toothless, nearly pulling Hiccup's prosthetic off. "I see very few fish in your future," he hissed to Toothless, who snorted at him nonchalantly. "Astrid, it was an accident. Toothless – "

Astrid clamped a hand over his mouth, punching him viciously with her free hand from her spot behind Hiccup. "To Stormfly. _Now_," she whispered.

Hiccup nodded nervously and guided Toothless to where Stormfly was perched on a spire, still confused about Astrid's sudden disappearance and reappearance. "Chan ou let goo 'f me noow?" he asked tentatively, his words muffled.

Astrid grinned evilly. "Nope," she said, punching him again.

Toothless landed gently, and Astrid jumped off, dragging Hiccup with her so that he landed in an unceremonious heap in front of her. "Honestly, Astrid. It was an _accident_! It wasn't like last time, or anything."

Astrid smirked, savouring her victory. She dragged Hiccup over to Toothless, plopped him on his saddle and tied him up with the emergency rope (that she normally reserved for, well, emergencies,) so that he could only move his right leg, and gave an unexpected shove to Toothless, pushing him off the rocky cliff. Dusting her hands, she clambered onto Stormfly and restarted her routine.

* * *

Hiccup toppled off the cliff, barely managing to cling to Toothless with rough fingernails as the pair tumbled towards the water. Flicking Toothless' tailfin up, Hiccup wriggled out of the hastily tied ropes as Toothless struggled to control their downward flight. Skimming the top of the water, they levelled out and Hiccup coiled the rope up, shuddering to think what would happen to him if he had lost it. As Hiccup admonished Toothless, he failed to notice a faint ship-figure approaching ever-so-slowly in the thick bank of fog creeping menacingly towards the island of Berk.

* * *

"Put your back into it, Hiccup!" shouted Gobber, as Hiccup struggled to pull a young tree out of the ground. "Ok, put your legs into it!" Hiccup groaned, watching Snotlout throw another tree into a large pile on the other side of the clearing, and shaking his head in derision as he and his father high-fived each other.

"Snotlout, Snotlout, Oi Oi Oi!" Hiccup watched as Snotlout effortlessly lugged a sheep up and down forest paths, and then nearly collapsed with the weight of another that Gobber had unexpectedly lobbed at his back. As Hiccup stumbled over tree-roots and branches and pinecones, Snotlout passed him, tripping him up and giving the full 'arrogant laugh' treatment before sprinting off, his poor sheep being jostled around continuously.

Hiccup stood up, dumping the sheep on the ground and watching sadly as it picked itself up and waddled unsteadily away.

He'd lost to Snotlout countless times before on Thawfest, he reminded himself. _Why should this time round be any different?_

But then he grinned, finally realizing he had a chance. _The dragons are coming along, too._

* * *

Astrid threw her axe into another painted target, its blade hitting the wood and sinking into it with a dull thud. She cursed herself, realizing that the axe was a hair low, she _would not_ let Snotlout get the better of her this time. Ever since they were little, the others at Thawfest had been getting in her way, messing up her axe-throws, pushing her off logs, and slamming into her when she was 'lugging sheep'. Sure, she'd given them all what they deserved, but it would be nice, she thought, if someone else could win for once. As she readed her axe for another throw, she thought she heard voices, a long way off but coming closer. She strained to hear, cocking her head, but they were gone. Shaking her head, she planted her axe into the wood again, nodding in satisfaction as the log split in two.

**A/N: I knew I heard something! Anyways, just to let you know, Thawfest is going to be completely similar to the TV series in every way... apart from a 'little' surprise at the end? Read and REVIEW to find out. Goodbye... Wait, is that a longboat?**


	10. Let the Games Begin!

**A/N: Hello and Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and all that Jazz. And no, you can't blame me for not updating... it was Christmas, and calculus, and I'm only 11, so you can't expect me to be responsible... so, here's the new chapter...**

**P.S. 'How to Steal a Dragon's Jewel' was epic... but Fishlegs was a bit OOC.**

Gobber stood in the middle of the dragon training academy, posing to the blank stone walls and mock-pretending to be Thor. "I call lightning down upon - "

The teens filed into the arena noisily, helmets and axes clanking. Hiccup raised one eyebrow.

"Uh, Gobber, _what_ are you doing?" Hiccup frowned at the burly Viking, who quickly spun around and pretended not to have heard.

"Sorry? I didn't hear you… anyway, today is the day of the 20th Thawfest games!" He gestured proudly around, not noticing the group's looks of derision at him.

"This is going to be so stupid," muttered Hiccup. "So, so, so incredibly stupid."

* * *

**_3 Hours Later…_**

"And anyway, the yak punched the hammerhead whale in the face, and then…" Hiccup zoned out of the enthusiastic conversation that the twins were having and watched people from the village set up for the first challenge; the sheep lug. Since the contestants were forbidden to practice on the day itself, the group had to entertain themselves without killing themselves, which was no easy feat. He watched Astrid beat up Snotlout, and then the twins arm wrestle, and then Snotlout flirt with Astrid, and then the twins argue, and then Astrid beat up Snotlout… and then a large horn sounded.

"Let the Thawfest games begin!" shouted Stoick the Vast, standing on a raised platform in the arena and looking very hopeful. At the top of the arena the Jorgenson clan laughed and jeered, confident in their victory. He, with the rest of the group stood up and walked into the stadium, each donning their helmets.

Snotlout grinned, pushing out his chest arrogantly. "You losers are going to… lose, again!" Hiccup glared at him, annoyed.

They walked to the far end of the arena, where sheep were being firmly held by some old, weathered Vikings.

"Yeh ain't got no chance, toothpick," muttered one, glaring in his direction. Ignoring the old toad, Hiccup walked to his sheep-bearer and waited for the signal. In a box over the top of the arena, Mulch and Bucket grinned.

"Tis a good day for lugging sheep," said Bucket earnestly.

Mulch laughed. "It's always a good day for luggin' sheep, Mulch!" He banged Bucket's bucket with a noisy clatter and the contestants took off. Hiccup stumbled under the weight of his sheep, but managed to pass Fishlegs and the twins, but remaining firmly behind Astrid and Snotlout who crossed the line first, and threw his sheep to the ground near Hookfang, who eyed it hungrily. Hiccup sighed dejectedly, collapsing to the ground.

Above the arena, the Jorgenson clan hooted and clapped. "Why don't you give us the medal now?" yelled Spitelout, eyeballing Stoick. "Save yerself the embarrassment!"

Stoick stood up from his chair, glaring pointedly at Spitelout. "Why don't **you **sit down now?" he asked, his voice brimming with dangerous intent.

The crowd died down slowly, staring at the heated exchange. Spitelout sat down reluctantly, his clan following suit but still thinking _slightly_ mutinous thoughts.

Hiccup rolled his eyes. It always pained him to see his father fighting over who would win _every single time_ just to protect his reputation. Everyone knew that Stoick was the chief, and he didn't need to prove it by stubbornly arguing over the most obvious of things… but he'd make his father proud this time. He was sure of that.

Snotlout walked over to Hiccup, breaking him out of his thoughts. "Guess who just got the first Thawfest points of the day? ME!" Hiccup didn't respond, knowing that he would enjoy it.

Astrid walked over, subtly tripping Snotlout up and stepping over him as Snotlout buried his face into the ground. "Why are you letting him get to you?" she whispered to Hiccup.

Hiccup shrugged. "We have dragons this time. _Someone_ else might actually win this time, who knows?"

"Whatever," said Astrid, her confidence not exactly boosted by (what she thought was) Hiccup's praise of her. "You go work on that new tail design of yours, or something."

"Actually, I was talking about…" said Hiccup, and then mentally slapped himself for being so stupid. "Oh, never mind."

**A/N: That was close, Hiccup! Really close. Now, I want MORE REVIEWS! *laughs totally irrelevant evil laugh* Yeah, but honestly, I got ****_almost no reviews_****! Come on... but you probably don't want to read this anyway, so I won't bore you to death with it.**

**P.S. Does anyone know when Episode 14 of Riders of Berk comes out?**


	11. Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry

Ok, don't kill me. Please.

Ouch.

Ok, I know, I haven't updated for, like, 4 months or whatever.

I'm sorry.

This story will recieve an update in the next few days.

I promise.

After I watch the new episodes.

Sorry.

Again.

Goodbye.


End file.
